Had farewell bbq at ECP for the guitar year 2s yesterday.

About a total of 20 people turned up. Hhm, we expected about 20-30..so it wasn't that bad. Just that it started pouring at 4 plus, and I was so worried that the bbq would be cancelled due to bad weather. Then..what were going to do with the food? Haha, believe it or not..I woke up yesterday morning..and I had this six sense that it would rain in the afternoon. I replied Kar Fu's sms in the morning..and I told her to pray for fine weather. Then ta-dah..it really rained! But..God is good..the rain stopped at 6..not only could we continue with the bbq..the weather was just right..not too hot no too chilly.

Shopping for bbq stuff totally rawks..haha. Cos..it feels as if we have all the money in the world! And we can buy all the yummy food to bbq for ourselves. Yong Guan, Kar Fu, Liang Hong and I combed Giant to get the bbq equipment and food (: We got bananas (to go with chocolate!), sotong balls, chicken wings, potato chips, bottles of drinks......but Giant didn't sell satay. So yg and I had to take taxi down to City Satay..near his sec sch. But it started to rain!!! And both of us just recovered from fever..I was almost sure we would get caught in the rain and be sick all over again..hahaz.

We met the rest of the people back at the bbq pit. Well..Kar Fu, Liang Hong and I were chatting while waiting for the rest to arrive. Then I told them the story of my world collapsing..lolx! But I must really thank Liang Hong for his encouraging and wise words. He said: Christianity is not about feelings. It's about simple yet firm faith. Sometimes we don't feel God..but we shouldn't give up totally or think He isn't there. Just that we don't feel God..it doesn't mean He's no longer our God. Liangi also shared about his 7 years of leading a Christian life with a wrong purpose..and I learnt so much from his personal experience. That..we shouldn't live under the expectation of others..and all that we do..we're accountable to God and God alone. People may misunderstand us, backstab us, but at the end of the day, we should just strive to be right in God's eyes. I laid the first brick down for the building of my new world, and my fellow brothers and sisters-in-christ laid the second (:

Anyway, I had a great time eating and bonding with the people. Swee Kuan came with Li Yun!! After much persuasion and begging =) Had a long talk with Li Yue mummy too..and it made me realise stuff too. Like..all along you may think u're close to someone and can be termed good friends..but how much do you really know about your friends? Then I realised actually I didn't really know people after all. I just knew them on the surface. So..it dawned upon me that friendship is really important. I miss the pure and sincere friendship ties back in PL. It's like..you know it's true when they say they care for you. And if any of them called me to tell me their troubles..I'd immediately put down all my work to lend them my shoulder. There were also regrets though. Some friends..I really really treasure them alot..but friendships need maintenance. If the other party doesn't do his/her part to keep in touch..we might just end up being hi-bye friends. And I'm saddened by this fact whenever I think about it. 4 years of friendship, and it all turned out that I'm simply waving to them on the streets or smiling at them from a distance =(

Friendships in JC are, sad to say, more superficial. You may disagree with me..but at least that's what I feel. You have friends, maybe truckloads more, but you don't know much about them other than their name and class and cca. What's their favourite food, favourite colour, favourite song..you wouldn't know. How about the number of family members they have, or the time they go to bed, or the problems they struggle with? *shrugs* You probably don't even talk to them after sch hours. I admit..I have very little true friends around me now. So little that I find myself pathetic..lolx (: But..I thank God that He placed some really special people in my life! They are those whom I know I can bare my souls to, and my secrets are well kept. So I say, building a friendship is even harder than building a house. All you need to create a house are bricks and other non-living stuff. But friendship..we're handling humans who have breath and emotions =)

Had a long talk with Yong Guan er zi this afternoon too. And the conversation sort of woke me up from my senses..hahaz. I just realised that I shouldn't be wallowing in depression..thinking that the world's gonna end. And come to think of it..I was really getting upset over trivial stuff. And I realised..that most of the stuff didn't really concern me! They were problems of other people..but I added them to increase my burden..haha! The most I could do is to give them advice..but..I should give them the freedom to lead their own lives.

But of course..there were also stuff that hurt a great deal too. I'm seriously hoping that Tuesday will be over soon. Then my life will be less chaotic..and peace will return? Still..avoiding isn't the best solution. I have to figure out a way to face the problem soon! And stuff about me being confused? Haha..Yong Guan probably doesn't know this himself..but he gave me an answer to my confusion =) Thanks er zi. You know..you talk alot of nonsense! But your smart mummy always manages to find meaning out of the nonsense (:

Didn't attend church service today..cos I'm still coughing badly and I badly need more rest. I'm still on my way to building a new world..ever since the old world collapsed..lolz! Temporarily..I feel worldless. But I ain't helpless or useless, cos God didn't make me powerless. Never be overcome with restlessness, but be strengthened by His greatness. Okay..my madness is acting up..better end this entry now =)

My new world will not allow sadness nor hurt to reign.